


Forgiveness Isn't Easy

by AssbuttOfTheReaders



Category: Septiplier-Fandom, jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 10:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7045168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssbuttOfTheReaders/pseuds/AssbuttOfTheReaders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not easy to forgive someone, especially if they break your heart. So why should Jack forgive Mark?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiveness Isn't Easy

     Jack sits on his couch with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head pressed firmly into the crook of his elbow. He glances up at the clock and sees it's 5:47 a.m. As he looks at the clock, he notices he can hear the soft thudding of raindrops as they hit the roof of his house. He can hear the wind as it gently pushes against the old house. He hears muffled high pitched barking from one of his neighbors dogs that was left outside. Occasionally a car will go by, splashing a puddle of water all over the sidewalk. But louder than those things was the ticking of the clock as the night was slowly bleeding into day. 

     He sighs and uncurls his legs, cringing as his knees crack.  _ Jeez, it’s really been awhile since I moved, hasn’t it? _ He thinks.  _ Yeah, since about 10:00 p.m. last night. _ His brain automatically retorts. 

     He slowly stands up and more bones crack and pop into place.  _ Maybe it’s time I get some rest. God knows I haven’t been getting much of that lately. _

     He made his way upstairs to their-  _ his  _ bedroom and flung himself onto their-  _ his _ bed, not bothering to take off his jeans or shirt. He hoped he’d be able to get some sleep before he had to get up and record some games tomorrow but he knew that wouldn’t happen. Sleep never came easy, especially when he tried to sleep in this bed. The bed he once shared with the person he loved- _ still loves _ \- more than anything in the world. A person he thought loved him just as much. He found out that was never true. 

    Tears formed in his eyes as memories of laughter and joy surfaced. One of him and a red haired man kissing. Another one with them sitting on a beach, trying to build sandcastles while at the same time trying to knock the others down. Another one of them sitting on a large patch of grass, him laughing at something the red haired man had said. Another with him sitting on the couch, sprawled across the man's laps as he plays with Jack's green hair. Tears began to form in Jack's eyes as more and more painful memories came to surface. This was the man he had-  _ still _ loves, he didn’t want these memories to play out. He just wanted them to  _ stop,  _ **_stop, STOP._ ** But he knew they wouldn’t.

     He felt rage and sadness twist together and then all at once explode, sending waves of both all through his body. He sat there for a few minutes, with the palms of his hand pressed to his eyes as he tried to stop the tears and calm the rage and sadness in him. He took a deep breath, as the dust of his anger settled and he’s only left with a crushing sadness, he wondered why. Why wasn’t  he good enough? Why did Mark lie to him? Why did he tell him that he loved him, he’d  _ always _ love him and then leave? Why did Mark make Jack fall completely in love with him  _ and then destroy him in every way he said he wouldn’t? _ And why,  _ why _ wasn’t Jack good enough for Mark?

    One month ago they’d been together. One month ago Jack was living with the love of his life, more happy than he’d ever been. But, they’d gotten in a bad fight and Mark had taken the sharp knife of his words and let them fly off his tongue and stab Jack in his heart. He had taken that knife and twisted it when he made it clear he no longer loved Jack just before he left. But, if his words weren’t proof enough that he no longer cared or loved him, his videos made it clear. For the past month in a lot of his videos, Jack’s eyes were red with dark circles underneath from the many nights he spent crying. From the many nights he spent missing Mark, wanting Mark to bust through their- well, now  _ his _ , door and to say he lied. To say  _ he loved Jack. _

     And two weeks ago when he finally got the courage to look at one of Mark's videos, he saw he looked just the same as he always did. His light brown eyes light up with happiness and joy, not showing a  _ hint _ of sadness. There were no dark circles under his eyes from nights of regret like Jack had thought there would be. He was the same old Markiplier he was before they broke up while Jack was a mess. He’d seen in his comments that people were worried but after a few days of seeing Jacks with red eyes and dark shadows underneath, and a few lies from Jack, everything went back to normal.  _ I’m just tired. _ He’d said.  _ I’m perfectly fine _ . He’d told them. If only they knew how much of a lie that really was. All at once, Jack felt exhausted. The lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion finally catching up to him and causing him to fall into a dreamless sleep.  

     Jack woke up to the sound of his alarm going off. He groaned as he smack the alarm to get it to stop. He opened his eyes to see it was 8:30. He didn’t really want to get up but knew he had to. He sighed and rolled off his stomach and onto his side, deciding he needs to get up and shower. He stood up and made his way to his bathroom. As he was passing the mirror, he paused. He saw that his bright green hair was a tangled mess that was sticking up in some places. His once bright baby blue eyes were now dark and dull, the dark circles under his eyes not helping. 

     He sighed as he felt another wave of sadness hit him, almost making him crawl back into bed. But, he had videos to record today. And he’d be damned is didn’t try his best, if not for himself then for the people who watched him. He felt he owed them that much. He walked over to the shower and turned it on, not really caring if it was hot or cold. He quickly stripped and then jumped in, wincing as the burning water hit him but made no move to turn it down.  

     After about fifteen minutes of his scalding shower, he decided he couldn’t take it anymore and got out. He quickly walked out of his bathroom and into his bedroom to get dressed. He managed to pull on his boxers and pants before he heard a loud knocking on his door downstairs.  _ Who the hell is that? I don’t remember anyone saying they’re coming over. _ He thought, and quickly threw on some random shirt and walked down the stairs. As he got to the door he put on a smile, hoping whoever was there wouldn’t notice how fake it was. As he swung open the door, a friendly  _ ‘Hello’ _ on the tip of his tongue, he froze. 

    The last person he expected to see was standing on the other side of the door; Mark.

    “Hi.” He said, smiling slightly. 

    “W-what do you want, Mark?” Jack said, not sure if what he was seeing was even real. 

    “I came here because I needed to talk to you,” He said, his mouth twitching up into a smirk.  “Nice shirt by the way,” He said, point down to Jack's shirt. 

    Jack looked down and mentally cursed as he saw that he was wearing a shirt with Mark's channel logo on it. 

     He glared at Mark, “I wasn’t paying attention to what I put on. It doesn’t mean anything.”

     “Maybe not, but the fact that you still have it does.” He said quietly, he smirk gone. His tone wasn’t mocking or teasing but it actually sounded… Hopeful? No, Jack was imagining it. No way Mark really cared whether or not Jack kept a stupid shirt. Not after he made it clear he didn’t love him anymore. Jack felt anger flare up in him. That bastard had the nerve to come here, just to what? Make Jack feel  _ worse _ ?

     “What the  _ fuck _ do you want, Mark?” Jack spat at him, surprising both of them with the amount of venom in his words. 

     Mark seemed to freeze at Jack's words. “I just really need to talk to you. Can I please come in?” He said, his brown eyes wide and vulnerable. 

     Jack knew he should say something like,  _ ‘No, fuck off’  _ and slam the door in Mark's face. But, instead, he found himself moving to the side and saying, “Fine.” A hopeful smile lit up Mark's face as Jack closed the door behind him. 

     Jack turned around and saw Mark standing there, looking around, as if he was in a new environment, somewhere he’s never been before. Once again, Jack felt anger flare up in him. 

     “It’s the exact same as it was before you left Mark,” Jack said, gritting his teeth. Mark seems to be startled by Jack words. 

     “Oh okay.” He said, nodding his head.

     Jack rolled his eyes and pushed past Mark. “Well, let’s go in the living room.”

     Jack then walked into to the living room and sat down on the couch. Mark quickly followed him in and sat down on a chair opposite if Jack. An awkward, tense silence hung over them until Jack decided to break it. 

     “So, what is it you wanted?”

     Mark looked down a his hands, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He whispered.

     Jack felt all the anger that was swirling around in him freeze. “You’re sorry?” 

     His voice sounded so sincere, Jack wanted to believe him. He wanted to jump and hug Mark. But he didn’t. Mark never once showed that he was sorry or that he cared in any of the videos he posted. 

     Mark looked up at him, “Yes. I am. I’m so damn sorry Jack.”

     Jack shook his head, “Yeah well, I don’t believe you.”

     Sadness washed over his features and he reach forward and grabbed Jack's hand. “Jack, please believe me-”

     “No. I won’t. Because when we broke up, it was clear it didn’t tear you apart.” He tore his hand away and moved to the opposite end of the couch, away from Mark.

     He looked up at Jack with wide eyes, “What do you mean?”

     “I mean that in all of your videos you never once seemed to care. You never once had red eyes or dark shadows under them. We completely stopped talking and you didn’t seem to care. So, no, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you care because you’ve made it clear you don’t.”

     He got up off the couch and sat down on the couch, right next to Jack.“I spent  _ hours _ crying.  _ Hours _ wanting to come back here, wanting to beg for you to forgive me. I spent  _ days _ too ashamed of what I’d said too even look at myself in the mirror!” He shook his head, and ran his hands over his face in frustration. “I know my videos didn’t show how I felt but that’s because I didn’t want people to worry about me. I didn’t want people to know that I’d lost the one person who meant everything to me. And I lost them,  _ you _ , just because I got upset and said stupid things.” 

     He sighed, looking at Jack with tears in his eyes. “I wasn’t myself for weeks,  _ a month, _ yet nobody noticed. I didn’t  _ want _ them, or you, to notice.”

    And just like that, Jack felt the walls that he’d built up so carefully start to crumble. Mark was making it so damn hard to be mad at him. But it still didn’t change what Mark said. 

     Jack shook his head, “That doesn’t change the fact that I needed you more than ever and you abandoned me. Even after promising over and over you never would. You knew my biggest fear and yet, you were the one to fulfill it. It doesn’t change that you practically had said you hated me.”

     Mark reached forward and grabbed Jack's hand, this time Jack let him. “And I’m so sorry about that, Jack. Please believe me I really am. I just-” his voice broke as a tear fell from his eye. It took everything Jack had not to reach up and wipe it away. Mark cleared his throat and said, “I just want you to believe that. I just want you to believe how sorry I am and much I regret everything I said.”

    And just like that, the rest of Jack's anger was gone. Mark seemed so sincere and sorry that Jack did believe him. “I believe you.” 

     Mark looked at him with hope in eyes and said, “Do you think you can ever forgive me Jack?”

     Jack hesitated, he wanted to say yes but, did he really forgive Mark? He did leave him sitting in this same living room with a beaten, bloody, broken heart but yet here he was trying to fix it. And he seemed like he sincerely wanted to. 

     Jack found himself slowly nodding his head. “I think you mean it when you say you’re sorry. I think you really do regret what you said. So, yes, I do forgive you, Mark.”

     Mark looked at him for a second, then pulled Jack into a bone crushing hug. Jack was stunned for a moment as Mark buried his face in Jack's neck. But after a moment, he returned the hug just a tight. He didn’t realize how much he missed Mark just hugging him. They stayed like that for a moment, just holding each other until Mark pulled away. 

     “So, where does this leave us? Can we try again? With dating I mean.” Mark said, that hopeful look still in his eyes. 

     Jack smiled, “Yeah I think so.”

     Mark then pulled him into another bone crushing hug and kissed Jack's temple. “I love you Jack.”

     Jack buried his face in Mark's neck and whispered, “I love you too, Mark.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to have this end differently but I was like, it's time for something semi good. I hope you enjoyed this! And please, tell me what you thought!  
> Also my tumblr's Assbutt-Of-The-Readers if you want to check that out!


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